Grrrrrr.

I have never felt anger like this before....the intensity, the onset, and the quick shift back.  The feeling is like being trapped in a cage, scrambling to break free, but no way to actually get out.  My heart races and I feel the rush of blood in my head.  I find myself frantically looking around for relief. The worst moments that relief came from a window, a box, and a garden tool.  So fucking stupid.  I'm not quite sure what to do with it when it comes. I write, I run, I hide, I swing.  Sometimes I sit on my hands and wait....just like watching as my world falls around me, I just wait and hope that it will past.  Time may be the answer but letting time be the answer feels too much like giving up.  The scary part is that I know more is coming but I don't know when.  Thanks a lot.